nytimes.com


Criteria

Relationships and human interactions are the building blocks of our society & evolution. Without it, there would be no society, communication, propagating and more. As a result, they are usually at the forefront of our minds. We are constantly thinking about our relationship with our friends, and as we get older, the romantic relationships we build with others. When looking for someone to date, or even for a friend, you generally have a list of criteria that you want the other person to fit. As an example, this can include: smart, handsome, confident, well-dressed, wealthy, athletic, specific hair color and personality. These are all perfectly reasonable wants and I admit that I also share some of them. We all create an image of what our perfect relationship would look like and tell ourselves that we’ll wait for that perfect person to arrive. Except the problem in doing this is that we’re looking for someone that doesn’t exist.


Broaden Horizons

It’s great to keep your criteria in mind when looking for someone, but you should not expect someone to meet all your expectations. Think of criteria as simply a way of stating your preference. Like ordering ice-cream, you may prefer chocolate, but you may end up with mint chocolate. While it may not have been what you wanted, you still enjoy it for what it is. Just like the ice-cream, there will come a point, when checking off your list, that the person will reach an “acceptable level” (The criteria that is most important to you). A real relationship is finding an imperfect person and building a unique & beautiful thing from it. Sometimes, you might even encounter moments where you can’t explain why you like a person or what you see in them, but you’re fine with that.


Love isn’t restricted to a concrete list


but is instead all over the place; and that’s what makes it special.

A real relationship can be difficult. Even after finding the person you “click” with, you can’t always expect them to not make mistakes. There will always be at least some fighting, neither one will also do the “right” thing and differences won’t always be set aside. Even during the dating process you’ll find unexpected flaws and turn-offs, but that doesn’t mean you won’t stop loving them or enjoying their presence. A relationship is a lot of work because no matter what, personalities, habits and interests will clash. However, people who truly care for each other will always fight to remain a fit for one another; even through any conflicts that arise.


Conclusion

While there may not be a perfect person, there is someone who will understand you and do their best to make you happy. There is someone for everyone; just give yourself and others a chance.


Further Reading

The following articles provide more information about what you already read. If you have the time, please check them out!

   https://thoughtcatalog.com/marisa-donnelly/2017/05/real-love-isnt-about-finding-someone-who-meets-all-the-criteria-on-your-list/
   https://www.bustle.com/p/9-signs-your-expectations-are-too-high-in-relationships-8671891

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